Musical Musings

mind over matter, or in this case ap's over music

I can't believe it.
I don't understand.
Why do i play music, why do I sing, why do I take dance lessons?? Because without it, I would go insane! And my mom insists that I don't go to my recital this January. BECAUSE OF THOSE EFFING FINALS. you know what? i like being immersed in music. why is it always my gpa and school always over music?? I'm so frustrated. My teacher was very surprised. Again with the, you have so much potential but you rarely have time to practice, blah blah blah. My mom thinks that just by not going to a recital, by taking me out of rehearsals, by ditching recitals that suddenly I will achieve her dream, straight A's. I do not want straight A's. I do not want a 2400 on the SAT. I do not want to go to Harvard. I want to be mildly content with what I'm doing with my life. Right now, I'm very unhappy. I feel unfulfilled. What's the point of going through all the shit if you don't enjoy going through all that shit?
I love the way my teacher explains Bach, section by section, increasing intensity, the rise and fall, the rhythmic pulses, the GRAND FINALE, the beginning where it's kind of like a march. And then the episodes come in.
Yes I'm done with that theory shit, but I honestly haven't learned to apply the "prelude and fugue"
Sometimes I wish maybe I should just comply to my mom's dreams.
But it's hard to pretend.
I have no interest in science and biology and chem.
No, my passion is music. All day, anyday.

posted by Michelle @ 7:27 PM